就像汪峰所说的那样:“我们俩相当于是提前把两个人要在一起磨合的很多东西,在自己的身上去消化了很多。所以我俩在一起,从一开始就特别简单。”

As Wang Feng said:\" We are quite so early to the two people to run together a lot of things, in their own body to digest a lot. So we were together, and it was easy from the start. \".

  可回到家里,她面对的是丈夫的无视与沉默,就像和一堵冰冷的墙结了婚,无论自己是哭是闹,都得不到回应。

But back home, she faced her husband's disregard and silence, like married to a cold wall, whether they are crying or noisy, cannot get a response.

  只是对女性而言,这是种威力极大的否定与排斥,它释放了一个讯号:我讨厌你这个人,我要抛弃你,跟你断绝关系。

But for women, this is a powerful denial and rejection, and it sends a signal that I hate you, that I'm going to abandon you and cut you off.

  本以为保留好这个毒瘤,就留住了对方亏欠你的证据,另一半就会更在乎你,可往往最先被毒瘤伤害的,却是我们自己。

If you thought you'd kept the tumor, you'd keep the evidence the other side owed you, and the other half would care more about you.

我花了七年时间,才接受了自己婚姻的失败,才从受害者心态里走出来。整整七年,我一边怨恨他,一边觉得自己很惨,回顾过去的每一天,我一点都不快乐。

It took me seven years to accept the failure of my marriage and come out of the victim mentality. For seven years I resented him and felt miserable. Looking back every day, I was not happy at all.

  我们对于婚姻的预期,很多时候是一种过度的期待。我们太渴望幸福,渴望从另一个人身上找到童年缺失的爱。

Many of our expectations of marriage are excessive. We are too eager for happiness, to find the missing love of childhood from another person.

  进入婚姻并不意味着问题就得以解决,而是两个人原生家庭的重复,通过冲突与创伤的呈现,我们才更深刻地认识彼此。

Entering marriage does not mean that the problem is solved, but rather the repetition of two people's native families, through the emergence of conflict and trauma, we know each other more deeply.

  爱情是两个人的生死契阔,婚姻是一群人的酸甜苦辣。女人要想经营好婚姻,就要扔掉算计和依赖这两样东西。

Love is the life and death of two people, marriage is a group of ups and downs. If a woman wants to run a good marriage, she must throw away the two things of reckoning and dependence.

  这便是绿灯思维——面对伴侣的缺点,不急着指责,不着急反驳,而是带着理解和认同,帮助彼此更好地解决问题。

It's the green light to think - to face your partner's shortcomings, not to rush to blame, not to rush to refute, but to help each other solve problems better with understanding and recognition.

  此后,每一次老公发火的时候,她都会安慰:“我能理解你的难过,我知道你也不想的”,或者就静静地陪着他,不说话。

Since then, every time her husband is angry, she will comfort:\" I can understand your sad, I know you do not want to \", or on the quiet accompany him, do not speak.

  婚姻专家艾伦·贝克说:“对两性关系最具毁灭性的想法之一就是如果我们需要努力,这说明我们的关系里存在非常严重的问题。”

\"One of the most devastating ideas about a relationship is that if we need to work hard, it shows that there are very serious problems in our relationship,\" said marriage expert Alan Baker.


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